This week my long run was 16 miles. Ok, wait, have I told you yet I’m training for a marathon? Gaaaaaahhh, did I just tell you I’m training for a marathon? I guess now I have to do it.
I usually run 3-4 times a week, I don’t schedule it, I just run when I want to and as hard as it is to believe (even for me, especially for me), I actually want to run about every other day. Whenever I’m training for a race, I do one long run a week and this week it was 16 miles.
Earlier today after I got off work, I was talking to Danny and was complaining about training. I go back and forth between wanting to quit and being totally devoted to the process about 7 times a day. I had planned on waking up early this morning to run on the treadmill before work. I wasn’t sure I was going to be able to get my run in later in the day or even this weekend, so as crazy as it sounds, I set my alarm clock for 2a.m., thinking that I could get in a 2 ½ hour run before I had to leave the house. I laid out my running gear, water bottle, shower stuff and work clothes and then went to bed. When my alarm went off at 2:00a.m., I turned over, then quickly shut it off so I wouldn’t wake up Danny and Isla. This is totally crazy. What is wrong with me? I asked myself, and then I fell back asleep at 2:01.
Then, this afternoon about a half hour after my first conversation with Danny in which I told him I might not actually follow through with the whole crazy-unrealistic-time-zapping marathon thing, Danny called me back. He said something along the lines of, “I was thinking about it and it just seems like you’re happier when you run.” Danny is a sort of go with the flow type of guy. He 99.9% of the time just lets me talk myself out, come to my own conclusion and then says “if that’s what you want,”…..and totally means it. Which is why his comment struck a chord with me. He had an opinion about my wanting to quit, and it was that I should do what makes me happy, but apparently, that was running
So, I changed my mind for the fourth time today. I got home, changed clothes and hopped on the treadmill. I know, the treadmill sounds horrible right? It does. But here’s my trick, since I don’t live in the country on a dirt road that passes fields of grazing horses, I just imagine I do. For 16 miles I watch my favorite horse show, Heartland, run on a soft surface (that is a lot closer to a dirt road that the pavement out front), and zone out into some funny dreamland which, apparently, makes me really happy. I know, I know, the horse thing never ends with me.
I remember telling my best childhood friend (who is a serious runner) not that long ago that I had no desire to ever run a half marathon. Then I did. And explaining that I for sure would never run a marathon because only nutty people did that…..and their toe nails fall off…..and gross. Now here I am, writing a whole blog post trying to explain to you, and to myself, why I turned into one of those nutty people, and I’m not really sure I can. I’m guessing it’s different for every body, every runner. I know about endorphins and all that, but for me, I think a lot of it is about doing something that’s hard, that I don’t completely understand, and that takes me to the country and fields full of horses. And honestly, Danny’s right, I’m happier for it.
p.s. My toenail literally just fell off as I finished writing this. Please say a prayer for my sanity.
❤ nutty runner girl